Lost
by BartyJnr
Summary: Everyone knows that Sirius Black told Severus Snape where to find Remus Lupin on those nights, but what would happen if Sirius had been expelled, just before Remus found out Moony had found a mate?


The night had gone bad so very quickly. Moonrise had just happened, so soon enough, Remus would know what had happened, James wouldn't speak to him, Severus was near on in shock, and he was... well, expelled. He didn't need the paper or the words from Dumbledore to know that he was going to be kicked out of the school; it was granted. Sirius had knowingly put another student into danger and well—he didn't really care about that. Swallowing deeply, Sirius sighed and stood, nodding to Dumbledore and heading off for Gryffindor Tower, packing away all of his things quickly, shoving everything into his chest before returning to Dumbledore's office.

This time, he was met with death glares from James and Severus—not that he cares. He simply told Dumbledore that he was sorted and sat himself as far away from the rest as possible, no emotions on his face, no nothing, just looked to the floor. It was because of this that he could completely understand the punch James gave him, the screaming of 'Don't you CARE?' and the pain from said punch. He couldn't, though, could he? Oh well, didn't matter now. The Ministry would see to it that he would have a limited amount of magic until he was of age and until then, he was stuck being... what, a house elf for the rest of his family? Oh, great. Perfect.

--------

The pain as he awoke was normal to Remus, but worse. Did his friends not turn up? Why was only Peter sitting by his bed? Where were James and Sirius? Merlin only knows that Sirius never left until he was awake and well again. Taking his potions, he was told that despite the pain he felt, he was better then usual, so he can leave.

He went to Gryffindor Tower and straight to the dorms. It only took him a split second to notice the beds. One was missing—Sirius'. Why was his bed gone? Where were his things? Oh Merlin, what had happened? Remus spun on Peter, trying to get an answer but as usual, the stuttering, fat little nothing knew nothing at all. Growling deeply, he moved for Dumbledore's office, just in time to find Severus and James coming out with Dumbledore.

"Where's--"

"Mr. Potter will explain, Mr. Lupin." Dumbledore cut him off before then returning back up into his office. His wolf within howled, growled, and felt like he wanted to attack the man. He could smell his pack member; he cold smell his Padfoot all over these people, so where was he?!

"James?" His voice was tense, nervous, quiet. Severus gave him a death glare before then practically running away, only confusing Remus more. What'd he do to deserve that?

"Black's been excluded, Remus," James growled out the surname and Remus frowned. Black? Not Sirius? "Stupid bastard won't ever be back."

"Why?!"

"I'll explain when we get back up to the Tower."

----

How could he? Had Sirius really said those things? Really put him into the danger of being killed by the Ministry for killing another student? How could he do that? Remus had so much he wanted to ask Sirius, but he was gone now and they couldn't do anything about it.

---

Another moon, and god, he felt so bad. Moony hadn't been happy about his pack being one short, the dog he had loved so much being gone. Remus had been told to stay in bed, but at least he's been allowed to go back to the Tower. Awaking now and then, he yelped in surprise at the big eared, long nosed, blurry shape that appears upon him.

"Sir! Mister Moony, sir! Wake up, sirs!" The house elf called, patting his arm lightly.

Groaning, Remus looked to the elf curiously.

"Wha'?"

"Sir, I was cleanings the room, and I can has found this!" The elf waves a book at him, a leather bound, old looking book. A journal of some sort. "And this!" A letter. Addressed to-- "Is it… is for yous, sir moony sir!"

Taking the things, he nodded and smiled, watching the house elf disappear before then sighing deeply. Flipping over the book in his hands, he shuffled himself to a sitting position before then opening the book up. _Sirius Black_. Good god, it was Sirius' journal. He wouldn't have left it, would he? Well, if it had been found and if he was told to leave quickly, then he might have just missed it. Swallowing deeply, he flicked a few pages before then reading.

_October, 31st._

_I'm in love. Wow, that's weird to write. First time I've actually admitted it, really. I shouldn't be though; not with the person I am. God, they would kill me. I can't say anything about it and I can't even ask anyone for help. I'm too afraid of losing them as friends. I really don't know what to do. I just saw them dancing at the ball and... god, I can't get them out of my head. Crap. Shower._

_---_

_November 5th._

_I'm gay. Gay or Bisexual, which, according to the people I was listening in on, means I can shag both. Well, that isn't so bad, is it? Just so happens that the more I admit this to myself, the more I'm looking at... well, __**him**__. Merlin curse it all. Shower._

_---_

_November 10th._

_Has it really only been five days?! God. I never used to write this much. It's hard to write these days, simply because I refuse to let this lot see. God only knows what they'd say if they found it, let alone read it. James would attack me, Peter wouldn't say sod all because he's a coward, and Remus... Merlin... if only he knew._

_----_

Knew what? What does he need to know?! Damn it. Trust Siri to finish that there and then get kicked out of school. Lying back, he frowned when something crinkled. Oh, bugger. Right, the letter. Reaching around, he took a hold of it, and rolled out the scroll, frowning lightly.

_Moony,_

_I don't know if I'll ever have the courage to give you this, or the will power, but it needed to be written down. I love you. I love you to hell, and I know, you're not gay, and I know I don't exactly show it, but I've loved you for a while now. I-- I watch you, just when you're working, or thinking, nothing bad, I don't stalk you in the shower or anything! Merlin only knows what affect that would have on me. Did you know you snuffle and hug your pillow when you sleep? I only noticed it a few times because you sometimes sleep with the curtain open so that the moonlight can hit you. You shine, too, when the moon light hits you and... You look so peaceful. I hope to hell if you ever read this that you don't hate me. Please don't..._

_Yours always, _

_Siri._

Holy crap. Sirius... and... with.... him? Really? Damn the boy! Blacks' were supposed to be courageous, Sirius more so than others since he was a Gryffindor! Not that Remus could say anything. He'd always fancied Sirius, just like every other person in the school that looked at him that way. Nibbling his lip, he groaned deeply. Sirius loved him, Moony loved Padfoot. Merlin, that's why Moony had reacted so bad, he wanted to mate with Sirius.

Blushing deeply, Remus slowly moved out of bed, and to Dumbledore's office, explaining to the older man what he had found out, and what he thought was going on.

---

It'd been a month since Dumbledore said he would find Sirius and nothing had been said. They'd been away for Christmas and now, they were waiting for Dumbledore's "Welcome back" speech. Everyone quieted down as Dumbledore stood, but the man only waved towards the back of the hall, towards the door. Gasps were everywhere and Remus eventually turned, his eyes widening greatly. Sirius is back.

The taller boy stood at the end of the table, looking straight to Dumbledore as he yelled out a welcome back, seating himself at the end of the table, but Remus couldn't remove his eyes. He hadn't gotten his robes back yet, so he was wearing his normal clothes, black tight leather trousers, a tight fitting shirt and a studded leather jacket, but most surprising of all, was his hair. It was short. Well, not short short, but Remus can't help but notice it was the perfect length if he wanted to grab hold of it and drag Sirius' head down to-- No, bad Remus.

It took him a couple of seconds to even hear James' calls, looking back to him with slight shock.

"You can't honestly be happy he's back, can you?!" James practically yelled, though it doesn't matter, everyone is talking now. Remus didn't understand this, at first, until he felt the stupid grin on his face. Oops. "I can't believe you, he nearly got you killed!"

"James, forgive and forget. He took his punishment without even whining, so don't start," Remus growled lightly before then taking a few bits of food and moving back.

---

In the dorm, Remus' smile returned. That bed was back and the boy was within them. Remus sat on the windowsill, looking across to the sleeping boy. He and James still weren't being nice, but Remus would make peace between them because he wouldn't be the one in the middle. Looking up to the nearly full moon, he growled lightly and looked back to the boy.

He didn't notice his feet starting to move, slowly moving to the side of Sirius' bed, blocking out the moon light. Watching the other boy frown and slowly awake, he moved onto the bed, kneeling at the side, looking down to Sirius.

"Remy?" The tired voice mumbled, looking up through the short (now flopped since the wax or whatever had been holding it up was finished) fringe. Frowning, Remus moved that hair, looking into those eyes with a smile.

"Glad your back, Siri."

"But… What I did..." He mumbled and Remus cut him off, shaking his head, growling.

"Don't care."

"You should."

"Well I don't, so deal."

And with that said, Remus kissed the other boy roughly, rolling on top of him with a swift motion, growling softly. "I don't care, I love you, and that's that."

---

The kiss took him by complete surprise and the words shocked him to his core, but god damn, did it make him happy to hear that. A hand ran through his shorter hair and he leans into the touch softly, smiling. "I love you too, Remy."

"I know." What?

"How?"

"Found your letter."

Bollocks.

"Well, I didn't, but when a house elf throws things at you, it makes you rather curious," Remus pointed out and Sirius followed his gaze curiously before then groaning deeply when he saw his journal.

"Thought I lost that."

"You did, but now you found it. Though, you shouldn't need it so bad now, hmm?"

"True."

Sirius laughed softly, smiling before then wrapping his arms around the smaller boy, smiling.

"Stay with me?"

"'Course."

And that was how they fell asleep, wrapped within each others arms, Remus' head to his chest.


End file.
